Jen Yih3 Comments

All the Single Ladies

Jen Yih3 Comments
All the Single Ladies

My heart broke a few months ago when Trump, who said crazy shit about women, was elected President of the USA, and again when I went to travel to Morocco by myself but turned back afraid that I'd be harassed as a solo American woman even if I covered up my entire body, and again when I realized that time and time again men are too proud to be in love, side-eyeing the next best thing, and again when a friend of mine asked me if I was a lesbian since I can be a little cold-hearted and athletic. 

I never thought of myself as much of a feminist, but there's always been a big drive to be as good as the boys - at everything. I remember arm-wrestling in elementary school and, still, whether its mountain-biking, skiing, surfing - when the boys leave me behind I get a little testy. I spent the past two years working in corporate America and there were only 4 women in the office. When I decided to quit my job and travel, I'd would've been able to pay for my flight to Australia if I could charge for every person that asked if I'd seen "Taken" or acted like I was flying to the moon alone. Increasingly, I get asked if I have a boyfriend or kids or when I'm going to settle down - when I say "no, none of the above" there's a nice awkward pause. Or how my bikini pic posts get the most "likes" and "comments" by every dude that comes out of the woodworks, or how some men will buy & send me presents to get attention, or how I told someone on a date about a ski accident I had (which explains why my left eye droops) and he said he was going to lock me in a tower where I couldn't get hurt (I went home shortly after) or the guy who recently told me he didn't want a relationship, just sex, I appreciated the honesty but yeah... It all starts quite young, this weird process. I rushed a sorority in college, don't judge me I had to check it out, but after the first "mixer" where freshman girls were put on display & slimed over by older fraternity boys - it didn't take me long to realize it wasn't for me. 

In the past year, I really revved up my listening to Sleater-Kinney and a few other angry girl bands. I thought it was just the Pacific Northwest rubbing off on me, but I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm one of those angry chicks that feels held back by some weird social thing that I can't put my finger on. 

Let's get one thing straight, I love men...big time and in many ways but you've got some serious problems. Your primal instincts mixed with f*cked up social norms have got you afraid of women being better at you in anything, with a lack of discipline using the wrong head to make decisions, fears of surrendering to true love & affection that you do actually need and want, putting down women in ways that you probably aren't even aware with side comments & words like "pussy" or "cunt" is actually not okay, the locker room conversations and objectifying (which is different than complimenting the beauty of the female body), and wrap all of your insecurities & lack of decision making together you're making it harder on us.

Once a month, nature gave us women the gift of hypersensitivity, which turns us into superhumans with abilities to smell, taste, touch, and hear everything on another level, its a primal protective thing. Our bodies are prepping to build a human being, super complicated you wouldn't understand...but instead, we're taking pills & putting chemical mixtures inside of our bodies to prevent your swimmers from ruining both our lives - when, in fact, your uncomplicated male body should be the one taking the pills & taking some responsibility. Anyway, there wouldn't be wars if women were in power because we're creators & understand that on an instinctual level. 

But it's not just men contributing to the issue - ladies, ladies, ladies - we're even worse to each other. It's always a competition, placing self-worth on the guy you've got your eye set on, and then shitting on the girl next to you for this or that etc. only creating more division & rad women from ganging together. God forbid if you're a confident independent woman, you'll attract all of the boys & scare 99% of them away, you'll also be the woman that other women love to hate. Stop it. That girl over there, probably had her heartbroken at some point too... Compliment each other and bring each other up because most the men aren't doing a good enough job of treating women with love, respect, and appreciation making them feel deflated & unappreciated.

Let's blame the media too because there's a strange thing that happens in a woman's early twenties, or maybe even earlier, where the topic of conversation just starts to circumvent men. It's like trapping a man takes over the forefront of the brain & instincts, as a means of survival or what you're supposed to do. It's a god damn race, and all of a sudden, your Facebook feed starts filling up with engagements, marriages, and babies. Fast forward another few years, and you hear about everyone's marital problems, bad breakups, and divorces start to multiply. I'm not an expert on the subject or an angel by any means... I'm f*cking terrified of all of that - but we're all guilty - men & women alike. Women are just primed for that before we're even thinking on our own - starting with screwed up Disney movies about a pathetic princess with long-hair, distressed in her high tower waiting for her prince to come save her, never learning about female camaraderie or support, followed by birth control and self-defense classes feeling victimized and preyed on - without anyone seriously talking about the fact that we, in fact, are the providers/carriers of the human race...goddesses.

There's hope though. I know a few good girls that get it and a few good men that also get it, who have stepped back & see the big big picture. Thank you for taking a minute to just think & of course the respect, love, support, and equality. 

Shout out to Alisha Keys, who this year gave up make-up & letting her hair be the way it is supposed to be, to Hermoine Granger aka Emma Watson for being a class act standing up for women around the world & looking like a saint while doing it. 

Agree, disagree, am I talking to myself again? Jaded much? Hit me.